The toddler years

If I had my Child to Raise over again...

"If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd fingerpaint more and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I;d run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of LOVE."
- Diane Loomans

I am thankful that my doter is still a toddler. Not a breezy period at all, I must say. But still it has its fun part and I am still learning and striving to be a better guide to her.

This is the period whereby your child is still dependent on you. A little more years down the road, it will definitely be lesser and lesser. I wouldn't want, for the whole world, to miss being a large part in her life. I want to be there in every little achievements she gained, I want to be there witnessing every development she made, and what better years of grasping a wide range of milestones than from birth till their toddler years. From babbling to talking, from crawling to walking and much much more!

And for that, I am ever so THANKFUL for being a stay-at-home-mum.*alhamdulillah*

"It will be gone before you know it. The fingerprints on the wall appear higher and higher. Then suddenly they disappear." - Dorothy Evslin

Parents' nightmare: Tantrums!

Sample pic

Imagine this.

Your toddler wants to have something that YOU do not think he/she should at that time or ever. You had already said NO a dozen times or so. Threatened to leave but never really did. Then he/she started to throw their body on the floor and screamed at the top of their lungs! You couldn't even pick them up as they are kicking and struggling. All the time, people around you are looking and judging. The shopowner/salesmen are getting agitated as you are scaring customers away.

What would you do? So far I only see 2 options:

1. Relent and give in to the child so that he would stop his tantrums, and stop the people around you from staring and giving you the 'what-kind-of-parent-are-you look'.

2. Stay firm on your foot and just let him finish his tantrums. Just let others think what they want, its your child and its your way of disciplining them.

For me I would go for the latter. Why? Just simply because I do not want them to think that they could get away with anything just by throwing their body around. And I simply do not care of what others might think of my approach, as those who're judging either do not have a child or they are the lucky ones who get the well-behaved children at all time.

I believe that tantrums and toddlers are inseparable. It shows their determination and I do not think that's bad. Its just that they are still clueless on how to behave and be patient, so that is our responsibility as parents to guide them. Not to confuse them further, by taking the wrong simpler decision -in my opinion- to just give in.

Of course sometimes when I see other children throwing tantrums I wld silently say that "Alhamdulillah that's not my child" heh, but SURELY I know that some other day that wld be my doter and I just have to face it too, just like yesterday. I think that was the worst tantrums ever being thrown by Amira. She was really determined to have that thing, screamed, kicked, struggled, for about 15 mins I think, and finally cried to sleep. When awoke, she was still talking about having that thing. So Abah, you think we should get one for her?

She wanted this BADLY!